Back in the early 80’s, my Dad purchased three sets of running gear to be used for either grain or hay wagons. One of these was converted into what would become his prized hay wagon. Over the years it was used when putting up straw from winter wheat, but once he sold the dairy cows, would lend it to friends that ultimately didn’t care for it like he would. After years of wear he decided, he would tuck it away for safe keeping.

My son recently married his perfect match and I thought I’d share a few thoughts on being the mother-of-the-groom. People often say the mother-of-the-groom isn’t involved or have much to do in preparation, but I’m thankful I was included from the beginning. My first experience was when son asked me to help him find the perfect ring. I was touched and happy he wanted me by his side.

Within a short amount of time my Mom will be hosting my sister and her family for a long weekend and anticipation of the visit, we needed to get some things done around the farm. We set aside a day to gather together and tackle the work.

This past weekend happened to be one of those instances where the stars aligned and my calendar and my brother’s both had an open day to get some needed chores done at the farm. Yard work was planned and as luck would have it, the weather was warm, dry and sunny.

This past weekend, two of my best girlfriends hosted a wedding shower in honor of my son and his bride-to-be. Hard to believe my only son will be getting married soon, as we celebrated together with friends and family. The event was held at a local establishment that had recently gone through expansion and growth, and we were unsure how the new space would work. The day was filled with laughter, happiness, reconnecting of old friends and meeting of new.

At a closer glance, it was a beautiful yellow finch. My Dad loved birds; especially colorful ones, including yellow finches. Anytime he would spot one, would announce for us to look. The brightly colored yellow finch has been back several times; always making a racket at the vaulted window, seemingly to get our attention. It makes me wonder if my Dad was giving us a sign he was near. I like the thought of that anyhow, and the yellow finch has been named Chuck-da-finchi, after my Dad Charles….ha.

Once he arrived, as usual, he had been working during the day and by the time he walked in was starving and ready to help with meal prep. He took a quick shower and was eager to grill, while I was busy cooking and prepping in the kitchen. I love that he jumps in and lends a hand with meal prep; together we make a good team.

It’s a family joke that my daughter is the queen of card games. Sometimes, no….most times, when she’s explaining the crazy rules, you think for certain they’ve been made up. She claims otherwise, and has been taught by other friends. Hannah is rarely at a family gathering without a deck of cards. She actually started a collection.

The sweet corn my Dad grew was the star of the farm, without fail, every year. People would come from near and far to pick up some of his famously sweet and delicious cobs. He would grow enough to share with family and friends; always planting straight from his heart. With his recent passing, it was one of his last wishes for my brother Jeff to continue the tradition.

Almost three weeks ago my daughter moved into an apartment about an hour from home. The transition happened very fast and we had little time to prepare. Within two weeks, she had been offered two jobs, accepted the one that was too far to commute and found an apartment. She had to scramble to make it all happen. Three days before she started her job she had planned to move into her new home.

As the day approached, I tried to put it out of my head, hoping it would be like every other day, but it wasn’t. No calendars or ideas were mentioned and each family had plans of their own, to celebrate the Dads. My Mom and I would spend the day together. After all, it was her first Father’s Day without him as well.

As we arrived back at my house, my children and my son’s fiancee were soon busy working in the yard, as well as prepping for dinner. They scurried about without asking me to assist in any way. Patio furniture and umbrella came out of storage, finishing touches were assembled on my new gas grill, weeds were pulled, and before I knew it……steaks and shrimp were sizzling on the grill.

I hadn’t heard of anyone attending this event before, and didn’t really know what to expect. With my daughter recently moving to Milwaukee, I thought based on the map she might be close to the park hosting the festival. As luck would have it, she was a ten-minute walk to the beautiful Veteran’s Park. I was coming with a friend from another direction, but we made plans to meet.

A few weeks ago, I attended the first of two bridal showers for my future daughter-in-law, Crystal. She had mentioned my son, Andrew, would be going as well, to help her Mother and Father set-up, and would be staying for the celebration. I was a bit surprised he would be hanging around for the entire shower, but I was happy to spend some time together.

A few weeks ago, I figured I better start practicing, since the job would soon be mine. We had heavy rains for what seemed like days and were unable to mow, but with the weed and feed that was spread earlier in the month, it was beginning to look like I might have to bale it……(it’s the farm girl in me…..ha). One day, the sun came out, and would be my only chance to mow before the next rain was due.

As my children got older, one day I knew I would officially be considered an empty-nester. I’ll admit, I had short periods when my daughter was at college or on one of her internship adventures that sorta felt like it, but I always knew she would be coming home sooner or later, and I enjoyed the freedom.

We seem to rally around the cause and somehow make it work. I’m not saying it’s always easy, but I’m saying we try and figure it out. For instance, this past weekend with one brother out of town, the other brother and I tag teamed to do a little lawn mowing, while my sister-in-laws took turns running errands, doing laundry and gathering much needed information. All done with a happy heart.

If you’ve recently followed my blog posts, you know that my Dad now resides in heaven, and last weekend we celebrated his birthday. He was the king of our castle, and the patriarch of our family. Nothing made him happier than being together as a family.