Waiting on the Other Side
Last week I had quite the experience ….. several days of procrastination and fear. Fear of something that sounded rather ridiculous, albeit real. So ridiculous I’m rather embarrassed to bust myself out, but I’m guessing many can relate. Let me start at the beginning of my story which began a week ago, Tuesday.
To set the stage, earlier this year, I was part of a business mentorship program that lasted 12 weeks. A big part of the program was learning how to be comfortable doing live videos to connect to your audience. Umm…..do I have to? Most everyone in the group dreaded this part of the program and I think were relieved when it concluded and no longer had to do live videos. After the initial period, a small group decided to continue keeping each other accountable.
Recently, our mentor was offering another workshop (three weeks total), and four of the original group decided to join. The theme of the offering was Go Live and Thrive. UGH….I could have kicked myself in the pants for joining, but I’m confident it was a case of FOMO (the fear of missing out) and since my colleagues committed, I decided to as well. During the first class I noticed there were 137 members and with a hopeful heart thought she wouldn’t make us go live with that many in the group, but guess what? That’s exactly what she did. Part of our homework challenged us to go live in the group for two to three minutes.
OK, easy enough, no more than three minutes of sharing. That’s when the procrastination started. I couldn’t think of a single thing to share…..my mind was blank! Or was that just an excuse not to face the task? It was a little bit of both. As the week passed, it was on my mind every damn day. Worrying about a simple three minute video. Why was something simple causing me so much anxiety?
FEAR…..that’s what! It was the fear of putting myself out there, feeling vulnerable, and thinking what could I possibly have to share that others would want to hear? So, the days passed one after the next. Then it hit me, I had something to share, something I had been practicing all week, something I had written about in last week’s post: staying grounded.
Saturday morning I woke up saying, “Today is the day!” Unfortunately, the fear grew. I decided the information I wanted to share and began to practice. Since my topic was on staying grounded, I thought it would be fun to go live outdoors. It was a beautiful, mild and sunny day. I tried several spots in the yard and after dragging a bench back and forth in and out of the shade, I finally decided on the perfect spot; directly in front of a little birch tree and assorted bushes. There was just enough shade not to cause shadows.
“Sheryl, get a hold of yourself and just push the damn live button!” Just as I was about to push the button, a lawn mower across the street started roaring. OK, I’ll practice a little more until it stops. Several minutes later it stopped and decided I’d better get it over with, only to hear a leaf blower! For the love of! Once that stopped, I began again and horns started honking followed by loud traffic. WHAT THE FREAK?
I decided I’d better take it indoors or I’d never get it finished. Then I had to begin all over practicing and getting the nerve to push the live button again. Let me tell you, it was now several hours later and I still hadn’t gotten my assignment completed. I looked at the clock which read 3:42 pm. I was picking my Mom up at 4:30 pm and vowed to get it done before I left.
After walking around, grabbing a bottle of water, practicing positive self-talk, and hesitating several times …. I finally pushed the live button. Within three minutes I was finished, DONE…..COMPLETE! I felt like a million pounds had fallen off my shoulders and I began dancing around the house in per glee.
Why does fear paralyze us from moving forward in our lives? The fear may seem silly to others, but to many is real. Fear of failure or looking ridiculous, or stumbling stops us from taking the next baby step forward on our path. The path to shining the light that’s burning in our soul. Even though I’m positive another live video is in my future assignment this week, I’m grateful it’s helping me stretch and grow. My dreams and desires are waiting on the other side of fear, and so are yours. Let’s be brave and bold together; let’s kick fear to the curb.
xoxox…..Sheryl
The trick to kicking fear to the curb is doing what feels uncomfortable again and again. I guess that means more live videos….ARGH!
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