Naked and Afraid
In June I took part in a venture titled, 50 Women Over 50. It was a project that was created for the purpose of giving women over 50 the confidence and voice to own their beauty, experience, and wisdom. The photographer and creator, Julie Kaplan stated, “It's my passion to help women feel great about themselves and feel beautiful, empowered, and to embrace the woman they've become!” Posing in front of a camera for hours was stretching myself right outside the box and into left field. Click the links to read about my earlier blog posts describing the before and after experience.
Once the session was over, it would be a few weeks before we could meet and narrow down the photos. As Julie showed me each shot, I cringed at some and was just okay with others. Don’t get me wrong, the pictures were thoughtful but my crazy mind only saw the flaws. I had to review them again to see the beauty. It definitely took me outside my comfort zone and I felt very vulnerable. However, before we could come to a final decision our time was up, and I had another appointment. Julie mentioned she would send me just the ones we narrowed down and I could choose from there.
Well, I sort of put it on the back burner because I didn’t want to have to make the decision. Then thought I’d have the brilliant idea of letting my son, daughter-in-law and daughter weigh-in. Amazingly enough we narrowed it down to three, then two, then one. However, because of my delay, I never got a chance to speak with Julie live. The first time I would see the completed picture was during the art gallery showing and celebration … gulp!
The day of the show I was a bit anxious at not being able to see the photo before it would be hung gallery style, in the exhibition. Then I just had to let it go. There was nothing I could do about it. Upon entering the room, amazingly enough, mine was the first one I laid eyes on. My mind was at ease and I loved it.
Why do I let those “not enough” fears enter my thoughts? Because I’m a perfectionist, that’s why! ARGH! I can be so critical of my flaws, and don’t always remember I am imperfectly perfect, and so are you. We are all beautiful in our own unique and special way. I am proud to be part of this special project showcasing seasoned women. We have so much to offer the world.
Being naked and afraid turned out to be fear. Fear of being seen, fear of aging, and fear of being judged. The victory in the story is I’m working hard on loving myself most. Even though I still have some work to do, I’m on the path of acceptance, understanding and grace. This is another way of being committed to the journey. I invite you in joining me to the path of self-love.
xoxox…..Sheryl
PS … Julie would love for you to be part of her continuing project.
