Behind Closed Doors
During a recent weekend retreat I attended, one of the days a two hour journaling session was on the agenda. I thought, how much time did a person need to write a few entries in a journal? After entering the session, the woman leading the class began to describe the exercises she would be asking us to reflect and journal upon.
The very first exercise, she lead was described as a character sketch. A personal journaling story while examining our own house. She continued to explain that the house represented our personality and our life. A character sketch of ourself from an observer’s perspective and getting to know ourselves in a more intimate way.
As the exercise began, I was on the outside looking at my house from the road. It gave me the feeling of a cozy-cottage-y feel. It looked friendly, warm and inviting with it’s light shade of sage green and crisp white trim. Two wicker chairs sat side-by-side on the porch beckoning someone to sit, relax and enjoy. I decided it was a friendly place to live.
Upon entering the doors, I discovered an open kitchen with lots of space to move around and accented with beautiful shades of teal blue. Once again, it felt inviting and warm. Beyond the kitchen was the great room that connected the living and dining rooms with heartfelt treasures peppered throughout the walls and furniture. Nothing fussy or ornate, just well-loved items that made it feel like home.
Making my way to the master bedroom, it was orderly and I made a mental note how wonderful it always made me feel when it was tidy and neat. However, I’d been meaning to redo colors and patterns for a while and wondered why I hadn’t made that a priority for myself. Then I made the mistake of visualizing the opening of my main closet door. UGH! During Covid I had worked hard to declutter but the middle of my closet was deemed a host for a pile of bins and boxes I hadn’t decided what contents to save and what to toss. Every time the closet door was opened reminded me of the work that still needed my attention. The door would soon be closed and a nagging reminder was noted for my to-do list.
Then I realized that closet represented me and the work that remains to be done. I’d been avoiding those extra boxes and bins as I had been avoiding me. WHY? It’s little voice in my head that tells me I’m not quite there yet. The funny and completely ironic situation is in the work I do and teach, I know the voices in my head are a complete lie and udder falsehood and need to take my own advice!
Most of my life is complete, in order, rocking the world, but there’s that little piece I hide behind closed doors. I hide from me and from the view of the world. So, how do I get there? By making myself a priority, a nonnegotiable option, and tackling those bins, boxes and me one step at a time. I’m always open to making little improvements and trying to be better than I was yesterday. I invite you to journal about a character sketch of your home. What’s behind your closed doors?
xoxox…..Sheryl