Allowing Love In
February happens to be one of my favorite months of the year. Not because it’s winter, or the second month of the new year, but because it’s about honoring relationships, love, and Valentine’s Day. Each year I look forward to celebrating the month of love with the special people in my life. I admit, I’m good at doing for others, however, not very good at allowing others to do for me.
A friend and I were recently talking about asking for help and I disclosed how hard it was for me to reach out. I continued revealing, I felt like I would be putting people out or causing them to have to give up their precious time for my needs. She was taken back when I told her it had been that way most of my life. She couldn’t wrap her head around my lack of asking, and I couldn’t wrap my head around how asking was easy for her.
After thinking about why it was so difficult, I realized I’d let a handful of big disappointments, people letting me down, or not following through when they said they would to affect my life. Hmm….my friend thought I had been constantly putting that disappointment on others before they were given the opportunity to assist. She was right, I had been letting my past experiences affect my present and future situations.
A couple weeks earlier, a different friend called to inquire about an upcoming medical procedure I was having. She asked how I was getting to and from the location. I hesitated and said I was thinking about taking a bus the facility was providing, however, I would have to wait while the others on the bus were finished with their procedures as well. I had to admit, no way in hell I wanted to ride on a bus and wait for others when I was already feeling anxious about the procedure. She stopped me right there and offered to take the day off of work. I was both thankful and relieved. She continued to tell me, we needed to rely on each other.
She’s right! We need to have our support team in place. In my case and I’m guessing others, not being able to ask comes down to one thing … fear. Fear of being rejected or told no, fear of being seen as weak, fear of imposing on others, or feeling like a burden. Damn fear! I’m working to change the fear to allowing love in. Because, we all need a little help now and then. Are you allowing love in? Happy love month my friends.
xoxox…..Sheryl
PS….thanks Trixie for taking the day off work, driving me, and knocking some sense into me.
PSS….thank you Renee for your upcoming help and Debra for your perspective and wisdom.
PSSS…and of course to Hannie for your constant support.