Two Buckets and a Handful of Apples
It was one of those afternoons when the air felt soft and golden, and the hum of the chicken coop mixed with the rustle of leaves in the breeze. My then 14-month-old granddaughter toddled across the yard, her tiny shoes crunching over apples scattered on the ground. She spotted empty buckets sitting near the coop and with great intention, set them side by side.
For a moment, she looked into both, one then the other, as if deciding which one would be hers. Then, with a quiet sense of purpose, she bent down, picked up an apple, and dropped it gently into one of the buckets. Back and forth she went, collecting apples one at a time, each drop into the bucket followed by her sense of wonder and curiosity.
I stood there watching her, my heart melting at the sight. What I didn’t realize in that simple moment was that she was showing me something profoundly wise, something most of us grown-ups seem to forget. She instinctively knew which bucket to fill first.
So often, we as women rush through our days pouring into everyone else’s buckets, our families, our work, our friendships, our communities until we’re left standing there with an empty one of our own. We show up, give, nurture, encourage, and keep saying yes because that’s what we’ve always done. But eventually, that kind of giving without refilling leads to weariness. The kind that seeps into your bones and your joy.
I’ve lived those seasons where I gave until there was almost nothing left, where I smiled through exhaustion and said, “I’m fine,” when I really wasn’t. Where I tried to meet everyone’s needs before my own, only to find myself running on fumes.
And yet, as I watched my granddaughter that day, her tiny hands working diligently, filling her chosen bucket first, I saw a reflection of what I’d been missing. There was no guilt in her choice. No hesitation. Just a natural rhythm of filling up before she gave anything away.
Filling your own cup doesn’t mean being selfish. It means being wise. It means understanding that you can’t pour love, patience, or compassion from an empty well.
When we fill ourselves first with rest, with joy, with stillness, with connection to what truly nourishes us, we overflow more easily into others’ lives. Our love becomes lighter. Our laughter comes easier. Our energy stretches further.
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. It might be taking a quiet walk as the sun rises, sitting with your morning coffee before the world wakes, or saying no to something that drains you. It might be setting boundaries that protect your peace, or allowing yourself a good cry when life feels heavy. It’s giving yourself permission to pause and to refill so that you can give from abundance, not depletion.
As my granddaughter decided her bucket was full enough, she stood up, brushed her little hands together, and looked satisfied, mission accomplished. There was something so pure in her joy, so content in her being. She didn’t worry about the other bucket waiting nearby. She just filled what was hers first.
I think about that often now, especially on the days I feel stretched thin. I remember her small frame standing proudly beside that bucket and remind myself that I, too, need to tend to my own.
Because when my cup is full and when I’ve taken time to nourish my heart and soul, I have more to offer. I can show up with love, patience, and energy instead of resentment and fatigue.
So here’s my gentle reminder to you, dear one: before you rush to fill everyone else’s needs, pause for a moment. Ask yourself, What fills me? What do I need today? Then, give yourself the grace to do it. Because sometimes the greatest act of love for others and for yourself is learning to fill your own cup first. The next time you have two buckets and a handful of apples, you know what to do.
xo, Sheryl
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